Writing in the Sciences——Kristin Sainani from Stanford University

Unit 1: Introduction; principles of effective writing

Module 1.1 Introduction

什么才能算好的寫作？
1.邏輯性：清楚表達觀點； 2.文字能力：語言優美，格式規范

怎樣才是好的作者？可習得的
1.言之有物；2.邏輯性；3.科技文的規范和要點（本文所學）
而不是：天賦；英語文學功底；藝術填寫；酒精和毒品刺激；靈感

除了本課，還可以通過以下額外練習，成為好的作者：
1.閱讀大量好的文章，并模仿
2.寫日記
3.拋棄論文寫作的壞習慣，后續課程會詳細教學
4.動筆之前，先口頭表述，整理清楚
5.不要寫得讓讀者厭倦
6.不要等待靈感，寫論文是一項熟練的工作，任何時候都可以開始
7.寫作對任何人都難，不是只對你難，不要氣餒
8.論文需要反復修訂，不可能像隨筆寫出來就完美，也不要因為這種想法將大量時間浪費在文字表達上
9.刪繁就簡
10.找個人做你的編輯，看TA的評價來修改或者讓TA幫你修改
11.敢于冒險，不要拘泥，擁有自己的寫作風格

Module 1.2 Examples of what not to do

作者：我不是特指你，我是說在坐每一個人……

沒有沒有沒有，作者說她不拉踩，她只是覺得如果寫得更簡潔準確，對讀者會更友好。
而不是制造閱讀困難沒人愿意看的垃圾。
你看我這個表情包就是上一節說的——“Try not to bore your readers”，所謂活學活用！嘿嘿~

下面看作者精心挑選的三個漏洞百出的例子：

Adoptive cell transfer (ACT) immunotherapy is based on the ex vivo selection of tumor-reactive lymphocytes, and their activation and numerical expression before reinfusion to the autologous tumor-bearing host.

遇見這種每個詞都不懂連在一起更不懂的句子，我第一時間挑自己毛病：
你怎么不好好學習！句子都看不懂！詞匯量太不行了吧！滾滾滾去學習！
當然一般來說，我不太能遇到這種問題，

因為首先我不太看論文，

其次，我直接扔彩云小譯/谷歌翻譯。

咳咳。不過作者說了！不是讀者的問題！不是讀者的問題！不是讀者的問題！這哥們寫的不行！

到處用名詞！亂丟術語！
注意例句里加粗的名詞，（偶本來感覺很高大上滴說），作者說了不好！

我被Kristin老師這手先聲奪人震住了，后面我一定好好學習。【博主嘴角留下悔恨的淚水】

老師如此教導：
你寫的時候先問問自己：
1.好懂嗎？2.讓人享受嗎？
(⊙o⊙)…這個要求著實有點高，享受啥的，害，不都是為了生活嗎，咱也不敢問咱也不敢挑。

再看第二個例子：

These findings imply that the rates of ascorbate radical production and its recycling via dehydroascorbate reductatse to replenish the ascorbate pool are equivalent at the lower irradiance, but not equivalent at higher irradiance with the rate of ascorbate radical production exceeding its recycling back to ascorbate.

還是靈魂發問：
1.能讀懂不？（…不能）
2.寫這么一長串，你獲取到信息了嗎？（…并沒有）
老師（滿意）：這就是因為他寫的不好！你看加粗這里他語義重復！
我：(⊙o⊙)…

老師反手拋出她的修改版本：

These findings imply that, at low irradiation, ascorbate radicals are produced and recycled at the same rate, but at high irradiation, they are produced faster than they can be recycled back to ascorbate.

臥槽，我好像能看懂了！老師牛批！！！

就是嘛，好好的人話非要搞成看不到的亞子！這樣多清爽！
正所謂：刪繁就簡三秋樹，領異標新二月花！舒適~

老師總結這門課的要點：
1.復雜的思想和內容不需要復雜的言語來表述；
2.科技文就是要讓人看得開心~

順便揭露這種亂象的真相：

“My professor friend told me that in his academic world, ‘publish or perish’ is really true. He doesn’t care if nobody reads it or understands it as long as it’s published.”
From: Anne Ku. “The joys and pains of writing and editing,” Le Bon Journal, 2003

這種得罪同行的話原也不會輕易說的，標明原作者就行 。

Module 1.3 Overview: principles of effective writing

Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.

這段話是一個集大成者，值得反復學習討論：

1.使用名詞替代動詞，造成語句蠢鈍；

Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.

2.模糊用詞（vague words）需要盡量避免；

Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has …. Therefore, molecular species that can ….
該詞所指過于廣泛

3.不必要的專業用語和縮寫；

Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis.
miR并沒有節省多少字母，且RNA本身就已經是縮寫了
gliomagenesis

其實我覺得這種錯誤經常出現在非英語母語的研究人員的論文中。我們習慣于先寫母語，再用翻譯器翻譯，最后修改，這樣就會因為對用詞的把握不恰當，或者對于縮寫習慣的不熟悉，而產生錯誤。
要注意避免這個問題。

4.被動語態的不恰當使用；

Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression.這里沒有用被動語態的必要性。

5.主謂間隔太遠，不利于閱讀。

Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
主語和謂語之間嵌套從句。

修改后：

Changes in microRNA expression play a role in cancer, including glioma. Therefore, events that disrupt microRNAs from binding to their target RNAs may also promote cancer.

總結：
1.刪除不必要的文字；
2.使用主動形態（active voice）而非被動語句：subject+verb+object;
3.盡量使用動詞而非名詞，并且注意不要讓謂語淹沒在長句中。

個人理解：雖然我們認為好像比起名詞，動詞顯得沒那么高級，但是文章追求的是可讀性，并不追求晦澀難懂。用最簡單語句做出最準確的表達，才是我們真正要追求的。我們要從誤區中走出來。駢文驪句固然優美，卻不是實用性的最佳選擇，更會隔絕受眾。而“逸馬殺犬于道”，雖平鋪直訴，但地點人物事件俱全，干練簡潔，也能傳頌千年。

Module 1.4: Cut the clutter

The secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what—these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. And they usually occur in proportion to the education and rank.
—— William Zinsser in On Writing Well, 1976

作者借這句引用提到刪去冗雜的幾個要點：
無意義的語句；過長可簡化的語句；已由動詞體現的副詞；不合時宜的被動語句……

舉例：

1.This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as examples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.

This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.

2.As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.

Increased athletic activity is associated with lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure, and improved fitness.

Increased athletic activity lowers cardiovascular risk and blood pressure, and improves fitness. (stronger level of evidence)

3.The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.

The experiment provides the first proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.

刪除非必要的單詞：
1.警覺&&無情；
2.試試看刪除之后是否能表達愿意。

Brain injury incidence shows two peak periods in almost all reports: rates are
the highest in young people and the elderly.

Brain injury incidence peaks in the young and the elderly.

文章中常見的雜亂表述：

1.無用且讓讀者感覺沉重的話
? As it is well known
? As it has been shown
? It can be regarded that
? It should be emphasized that

2.意思模糊的單詞
? basic tenets of
? methodologic
? important

3.可以縮短的詞組和單詞
? muscular and cardiorespiratory performance

Wordy versionCrisp Version

a mjor of	most
a number of	many
are of the same opinion	agree
less frequently	rare
all three of the	three
give rise to	cause
Due to the fact that	affect
have an effect on	affect
based on the assumption that	if

The expected prevalence of mental retardation, based on the assumption that intelligence is normally distributed, is about 2.5%.

The expected prevalence of mental retardation, if intelligence is normally distributed, is 2.5%.

4.非必要的術語和縮寫
? muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
? Gliomagenesis
? miR

5.重復的單詞或從句
? studies/examples
? illustrate/demonstrate
? challenges/difficulties
? successful solutions

A robust cell-mediated immune response is necessary, and deficiency in this response predisposes an individual towards active TB.

Deficiency in T-cell-mediated immune response predisposes an individual to active TB.

6.可刪除的副詞
very, really, quite, basically, generally, …

Module 1.5：Cut the clutter, more tricks

1.不使用否定句（not）

NegativePositive

not honest	dishonest
not harmful	safe
not important	unimportant
does not have	lacks
did not remember	forgot
did not pay attention to	ignored
did not succeed	failed

? She was not often right. —> She was usually wrong.
? She did not want to perform the experiment incorrectly. —> She wanted to perform the experiment correctly.
? They did not believe the drug was harmful. —> They believed the drug was safe.

2.不使用“there are/there is”
? There was a long line of bacteria on the plate. —> Bacteria lined the plate.
? There are many physicists who like to write. —> Many physicists like to write.
? The data confirm that there is an association between vegetables and cancer.
—> The data confirm an association between vegetables and cancer.
? There are many ways in which we can arrange the pulleys.
—> We can arrange the pulleys in many ways.

3.刪去無用的介詞
? The meeting happened on Monday. —> The meeting happened Monday.
? They agreed that it was true. —> They agreed it was true.

Module 1.6: Practice cutting clutter

這一節是練習，我把題目整理在pdf里可以直接下載打印做練習。
鏈接：https://pan.baidu.com/s/1a8hQylR-OaSRnUHTZukh6w
提取碼：pqjj

1.Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease. Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.
2.Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long been known to be among the most
devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.
5.As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up , there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.

答案：

1.Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of newborns.
2.Besides preventing cancer, p53 also plays roles in aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are among the most devastating and expensive.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal, reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.
5.Figure 2 shows that a return kinetic energy less than 3.2 Up yields two electron trajectories.

總結

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